Oh dear.  I'm falling.
Nothing new about that, though.  It happens to me quite often.  It's just that I could do with a change.  A new direction in life.  Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.  It could be worse, I suppose.  I could be a raindrop.  I have to do that sometimes as well.  I hate it.  It's a very wet job.
I hope it's not a bumpy landing today.  At least not too bumpy.  It was slightly bumpy last night.  Thankfully I missed the concrete on the ground below me by two inches and landed on a horse with a lovely smooth mane.  If you know the owner, please send my thanks.  I would send him or her a card, but as a general rule snowflakes aren't allowed in the shops where they sell them.  Anyway, as I was saying, the landing last night wasn't too bumpy.  I didn't mind that.  It adds excitement to my life.
Shouldn't have far to go now.  I think this is a record speed, actually.  For me anyway.  The wind helps.  It's quite a fast wind, really.  No it's not.  It's a very fast wind.  I hope it doesn't blow me into the sea.  It'll be wetter than being a raindrop.
Oh goodness.  Wind, you've made your point.  Oh dear me.  Calm down wind, please.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!  All right, you don't need to be so persuasive.  Omogaliptivitletlayona!
Good grief.  It's a bit dark here.  The wind seems to have shifted me over here.  The darkness came terribly quickly.  I wonder where I am.  The wind has gone away as well.  Oh, now I know where I am.  I'm in space.  How exciting.  I'm the first snowflake in space.
NOTE : As you may have gathered, I wrote this when I was...shall we say, rather young. So I can't really vouch for its quality or for it making any logical sense whatsoever! I originally published it in my own cheap and cheerful magazine 'Stareye'. For the sake of 'purity' I've stuck strictly to the original text.
Controversial "Stew" blogger inches ever-closer to his inevitable 
endorsement of a far-right, anti-independence party next year
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The title of Stuart "Stew" Campbell's latest blogpost rant is "How to 
create racists", to which the obvious punchline would appear to be "och, 
just follo...
1 day ago
